Christie's Page

INTRODUCTION

Men are beautiful creatures, not always understood and most often a pain in the rear -- but good stock nonetheless.

So, what makes me qualified to speak on the matter concerning the opposite sex? Let's see .... During my earlier years -- which I would like to classify as my "College Days" -- I really studied the male species. I was identified as the "Black Elaine" of Seinfeld -- the only chick in the midst of several men, totally immersed into their world and into their way of doing things. I saw it all: the games, different women and the stories behind each, lies, vulnerabilities, inadequacies, hurts, and all of those issues deemed "taboo" within the world of testosterone, egos, and pride.

Was I allowed into this clique because I didn't judge them and because my presence provided them a way to tap into their "sensitive side" through interaction with me? Did I blend in that much, that I was seen as one of the guys? Maybe it was a little of all the above or perhaps my hypothesis is completely off. What I do know, however, is that my friends -- good friends -- were typically of the male persuasion.

And guess what?

I have learned the art of loving them through all their madness!

Oh, did I forget to mention I have a younger brother (my boo-boo, who I dearly love with all my heart)?

Wow! There are so many men of major significance that have played vital roles in my life and have ultimately shaped my knowledge-base of what society views as the "alien nation."

Now, allow me to place a disclaimer on this book at the onset. For whatever the reason(s), my detailed observations were primarily of the African American male. In my "guesstimation" I would predict that all men are very similar in many ways, with each nationality and race possessing their own unique twist .... You know what I mean. Take for instance the peanut: you can boil it, roast it, produce peanut butter (both chunky and smooth), cover it with chocolate, surround it with caramel and the other ingredients that make up the snicker's bar (my personal favorite), and the list could go on for days -- but at the end of the day, you're still dealing with a nut.

Now, I'm not for one second trying to imply that men are nuts -- quirky at times -- but not "nuts" as in crazy. Well ... moving right along!

Let us regain focus and hone our attention on the beauty of man and what I absolutely love about a bonafide M-A-N!

When I think about the true essence of a man I begin to feel as though I'm feasting on a good, old-fashion Thanksgiving spread of stuffed turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, grandmom's sweet potato biscuits, collard greens -- Um, Um, Um -- Man! Man is so good to me! Are you feeling me? Can you taste what I'm experiencing right now? -- a total and complete feast that has the ability to fill you up and wanting for nothing.

You know I truly believe this "feeling" I'm trying to get across to you, was God's original intention for a woman to "feel" towards a man and vice versa. So, where did we go wrong? What happened? -- or didn't happen -- for that matter?

I say -- The love is gone! It checked out, got lost, and reckoned within itself to never return. That is until now! Beautiful man (in general) and mighty beautiful black man (specifically), I want to tell you what I love about your mind, body, and soul.

You are awesome! A delight! A strong fortress and my strong tower! You are excellent in design and skillfully put together -- a statue of "head-to-toe" perfection!

It's a shame the world has instilled something totally different into your psyche.
So, I say, let us all (both male and female) kick back our shoes and enjoy my rendition of a man and what life has shown me about the opposite sex.

CHAPTER 1: "Masculine Mentality"

Me, Chief! Me, Superhero! Let us begin here at the mantra engraved on every man's heart. The spirit of this chant says, "I am in control (me Chief) and I can do all things (me Superhero)." Please take note, because to truly understand this truth is to unlock the vault of a man's mind and enter into his world ....

... Boys usually have excellent hand-eye coordination and they quickly learn how to "control" a baseball, softball, basketball, football, stone or rock to do and to go precisely where they desire. Not only is it almost second nature to most, it's very important for their development.

Little boys become skilled at their hands and pride themselves in being able to fix things. In fact, many boys will purposely break something apart in order to prove to themselves they have the ability to put it back together again ....

... With age, they begin trying their hand at controlling people. They tussle with each other, testing their strength and ability to subdue their opponent ....

... As children, life is grand if they only have to concentrate on their make-believe world and their fairy-tales -- but when life begins to throw "grownup balls" that don't travel in the intended direction -- all hell breaks loose and the Male Psyche becomes confused, frustrated, and right-down angry.

The larger the "grownup balls" are and the earlier they are introduced into a boy's life, the greater confusion and anger become. Unfortunately, for little black boys, this reality-check breaks forth much sooner than most races and nationalities. The defeat they experience at an early age renders them powerless, ever-seeking ways to regain control and mend back the pieces of the broken hero within.

This "shattered syndrome" occurs when the internal chant says to a little boy, "You're in control." Then life quickly sends a chest-rocking blow that responds, "You aren't in control of anything!" And the internal battle ensues. The little boy gets up, shakes it off and says, "I can do all things!" Circumstances then respond with a mighty blow, "You can't do shit!" What? Profanity? Yes, it happens just as nasty and harsh as that. Blow after mighty blow, their paradigm begins to shift. Suddenly, or shall I say gradually (over time) their heart begins to believe life's saga and commences to engage in its opposing, degrading chant: "I'm not in control of anything and I can't do shit!" Little boys then take that chant and their anger and they grow and develop.

I couldn't believe my ears one day going home to visit my mother and brother from college, and hearing a Biggie Smalls song thumping from my brothers bedroom. The lyrics went a little like this: "I don't want to go to heaven with the goody goodies. I want to go to hell where they wear black "hoodies" ... I ain't a piece of shit, it ain't hard to f_ _ _ing tell."

You see, Biggie Smalls, like many other males undergo a change of heart and only with their mouths do they speak empty words of control and ability, knowing that internally the story is so different -- they don't truly believe in themselves. And if there is no other healthy man around to validate them, explain and comfort the chaos rumbling away inside their secret chambers -- wounded souls and lost minds become fathers, husbands and boyfriends who don't have a clue of what to do with these "grownup balls" just sitting there in their laps.

So, you know what oftentimes happens? They start playing around with their balls -- no pun intended -- but they do. As they play their boy games, people get hurt and additional lives around them become shattered. The heart of a man is never to be a failure at anything and the rubble of shattered glass balls becomes too much to bare -- it's now a matter of fight or flight.

So, what happens at this crossroad where their history has dictated that all the fighting throughout the years only rendered losses? Which road will a man choose?

Maybe, woman, you are in relationship with this man that I speak about: who's standing at the crossroad, holding his balls, looking back over his past, trying to determine his future move -- cold and alone in his own mind. This is what he can't tell you -- it's been too hard living, but he's too afraid to die ....

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THIS EYE-OPENING BOOK!
JOIN ME AS I SHARE WITH YOU THE SECRETS THAT HAVE BEEN REVEALED TO ME ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX!
TO BE RELEASED DECEMBER 2008!